On New Year's Eve we returned from a four-day trip to Charlotte, N.C., which was about as packed with family visits as a short trip can be. Especially considering the fact that neither of us is actually from Charlotte. B's parents and my sister happened to move there in the same year (2000), while B and I were already living together but before we were a couple. During the last four days of '08, we saw Pirrie and her husband, Marty, and their three kids (Wes, Johnny, and newborn Benjamin); Mom and Dad (aka Nana and Poppy); Brandon's parents (aka Grandma Jill and Poppy Ray); B's sister (aka Auntie M); and B's brother, his wife, and their newborn (Uncle Ray, Aunt Tiffiny, and Peyton). Plus Pir's dog, Durham, and Nana and Poppy's dog, Skipper, whose importance was in no way inferior to that of any of the humans, at least in Elaine's opinion.
The bad news about Charlotte is this: we spend most of the time feeling guilty because we're trying to see a lot of everyone in what is always a short spurt of time, and inevitably it's hard to stretch ourselves across both homes and all the people involved. Even moreso now that we're working around Elaine's two-nap-a-day schedule.
The good news is: in Charlotte, you never want for anything because you're never more than 2 1/2 minutes from a Target. Ha, ha, just kidding. No really, the good news is, we have never seen Elaine smile more. And that is saying a LOT, because this is a baby who has built a solid reputation for smiling nearly constantly to begin with. But I have never seen her happier than she was when surrounded by her adoring 7- and 9-year-old cousins, her doting grandparents, her loving aunts and uncles, and those wagging, nuzzling dogs, who never failed to elicit a shriek and a giggle from her. And I don't want to go assuming things, but I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual all around. Elaine is at what many people claim is peak cuteness: she's responding and interacting with things and people a lot, but isn't yet testing boundaries, saying "no," having temper tantrums, etc. Her huge three-toothed smile and comma-shaped eyes, her stubby little arms reaching over her fuzzy head to say "soooo big!", her grasping at people's clothes and hands to pull up to standing -- all of these and pretty much everything else she does seem to bring a lot of sunshine into any room she's in.
I actually felt mean packing up our stuff and taking Elaine out of that environment. A few times a year (sometimes as often as once a month), I start having fits about wanting all of our family closer together. The thing is, we can't accept full blame (on either half of the family) for the many miles between everyone. My sister Amy lives out here too with her family, and when she and I moved to the West Coast, my parents were living in Southern California instead of Michigan. Then Pirrie moved to North Carolina and so did B's parents. Then my parents moved back to Michigan. Brandon's sister and brother live in Ohio. So having everyone close together is not as simple as us selling our house -- which we'd have to do at a loss at this point -- and trekking back to the Midwest. Everyone's scattered all over the place.
I do love living here very much and have a hard time imagining peeling myself away and starting over again somewhere else. We have tons of friends and a lifestyle that suits us perfectly. But those other considerations -- what's best for a growing family, the support you get from having all those loving people nearby -- weren't on my mind when I decided to come out here. I can't say if I would have been smart enough to do things differently if I could have seen 10 years into the future. If Elaine could talk right now, what would she choose?
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